Floating Through The Party

I basically live by Kate Spade quotes. What’s not to like, right? All about being who you are and being confident. I also live by the brand. The fun colors, patterns, and prices, who could resist? But unfortunately, the quote “she tucked away her coral lipstick and floated back to the party,” is basically my mantra. Now this can be interpreted and good or negative. Which do you identify with?

The good: the party goer girl is having such a great time. She kicking back drink and chatting up with her friends. She may even be getting it on with someone of her choice so of course she needs to reapply and float back to the party.

The negative: Me. My mom was always more social than I ever was and I always needed everyone’s approval. These facts haven’t changed. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy the parties, I just don’t agree with them anymore if that makes any sense. Yes, I sit with everyone, eat with everyone, laugh with everyone but never do I talk to everyone. I’m just there. I just exist to take up space and I feel like that is how everyone feels about me as well. That it would never really make a difference if I was ever there or not. And when you’re sitting in a crowd of 15 or 20 and you haven’t said a word, you begin to feel lonely. I’m sitting with 20 other people but I never feel as alone as I do in that moment. So then what do I do? I glide out towards the powder room, spend a few minutes checking my cell phone (i.e. what just happened in Hollywood, the newest liquid lipstick, cute recipes on Pinterest) and then I reapply my lipstick and float back to the party. 

Then I sit. And I eat. And I laugh. And I leave.

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